Why breaking ties hurts so much?
Mer González
Often, I have felt that breaking up with someone you love is very painful, it happens mostly in romantic relationships but also in friendships that for one reason or another reached a point in our lives where they were subtracting rather than adding.
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I have been reflecting deeply into this feeling for a while, it is almost emptiness or great loss after the breakups of any kind. Most of the theories explain these emotions as a consequence of attachment and emotional co-dependency, and I think they are right, but at the same time other questions came across: what lies at the bottom? What is there when you overcome the ¨ego¨ through which we have created insecure attachment?
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In my last trip with LSD I kept asking myself these questions about life, the meaning of existence, the purpose of life, what happens after the death of this body, etc. You know… just a couple of existential questions… So, I was there into my trip and suddenly I started feeling bright lines coming out from my heart which connect with all the beings in this planet, humans, animals, plants. In that particular moment I was able to feel every single connection. A feeling of belonging, fulfilment and unity that I never experienced before, maybe something similar to when you belong to a group of friends or to a romantic relationship but more intense, stronger, more complete and deeper.
I asked myself: Why don´t we feel that connection to others? Or at least I have not felt that before. I use to live in an independent and disconnected world. And suddenly the answer came up.I could feel it in my body. Deeper within we know that we have that universal connection with everything. Despite that disconnection, in which apparently, we live as a consequence of identifying with our ego, we know there is something else and we long to feel it. That´s why when we connect deeply when someone we live that as a vehicle to that universal connection. If that vehicle is broken, we feel alone and disconnected from the Universe yearning for what for a moment we have been able to touch with our fingertips, we stop feeling that we belong, and that is painful.
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But what if I tell you that our true nature is connection, that we are not alone but we weave our souls not only between human but also with all the other living beings in this world. And if you manage to feel even for a second that connection, not only with your fingertips but with your heart, everything changes.
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I have no clue how my future will look like after integrating this trip but still today I can feel the universal connection in my heart and that makes me be more open and compassionate with all beings, understanding in a deeper level our fear to that kind of loneliness.
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I would like to share with you a guided meditation I created with the purpose of taking you to feel for a moment that connection with the everything I have just talked about.
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Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope it helps you on your search.
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With love,
Mer.