Recently I have come across the feeling of not being enough, after a period of being often exhausted I began to wonder what was the origin of that discomfort. Going to the root, I have realized that what there is a feeling of , created in childhood where I strived to please and fulfill other´s expectations.

 

I have a tendency to always be on the move to pursue new goals, get more done at work, look for external validation, and feel no satisfaction, even when things are going well. Sometimes I put the needs of others before my own and before making a decision I often worry about what they will think of me.

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I cannot deny that this, in part, makes me feel good because it leads me to be motivated to start projects,improve myself and being caring in my relationships. But the dependence on appreciation hurts me. I feel disconnected from myself, frustrated, irritable and sad.

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It has not been easy to detect this in me, it has been throughout a therapeutic process of many years where I have observed that I move through this pattern and often end up feeling the same way. 

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Discovering this has been very painful. And  at the same time has brought a lot of light to my reality.

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I am working on feeling enough, I am learning to accept and love myself as I am and not to put my value on my achievements or how others see me.

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I give myself permission to go through this process with patience knowing that it takes time to free yourself from such ingrained beliefs and in the meantime I pamper myself .

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And if you are feeling identified with what you are reading from here I tell you that YOU ARE ENOUGH.